I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
