do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize