What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize