woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Everclear isn't food dammit
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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