If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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