No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
