I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
