i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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