So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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