The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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