yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
