well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
