I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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