Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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