fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
