I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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