Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
