well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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