Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
