Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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