Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
