so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
