Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
be right there i have to get my cape
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
