So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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