This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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