btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
