thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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