it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Randomize
