I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
