What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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