Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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