just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
