She is in my trunk
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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