i permit you to call me
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
