My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
