names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Acid is not a monday night drug
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I will pee on everything he values.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
