Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
