Three words: puerto rican gang bang
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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