There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
