We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
