i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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