3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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