glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
