No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
it was like eating out sand paper
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
