I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
