He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize