omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize