Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
