After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You need a sexual gate keeper
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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