we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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