just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
wow bdsm is so cute
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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