Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk

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(+61): View more from Australia

Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.

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(510): View more from California

she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.

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(830): View more from Texas

No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her

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(678): View more from Georgia

Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.

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(540): View more from Virginia

BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.

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(310): View more from California

Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.

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(347): View more from New York

Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?

(1-347): View more from New York

Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.

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