I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
