When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
