Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
