If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
