oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
