I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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