Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
