yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize