I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
