dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
and you fell through a lawn chair
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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