She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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