This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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